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To my hand full of readers, I know your not getting your daily fix. But dont worry, ill be back in three weeks and if im not feeling too lazy i might be back sooner.

Do Not Mail Weed

"Police say they were waiting for 22-year-old Carlucci Jones as he went to the main post office on Dalton Street. Jones allegedly signed for a seven pound package of pot. Police stepped in and also found heroin on him."wcpo

D'oh! that's gotta be a bummer, I mean he probably thought he was so close to going home and lighting up a fat J.
I gotta be honest here, who hasn't thought about getting some weed through the mail. But of course everyone knows (besides this guy) you should never buy weed through the mail. 
I'm just curious why he decided he had to get this stuff through the mail, I mean marijuana is probably the most abundant drug you can buy anywhere on the street.
Carlucci, next time tell them to vacuum seal it three time.

Thong Wearing Trespasser Arrested

"Brian Luedeker, 37, of Madeira, walked uninvited into a backyard in the 7300 block of Juler Avenue and masturbated while wearing a black thong, Madeira police wrote in a complaint filed with Hamilton County Municipal Court." news.cincinnati

First of all I want to thank Brian Luedeker of Madeira for giving me something to write about. I was starting to get bummed out, because nothing retarded was going on around Cincinnati lately; but now all that has changed.
Brain I'm not really sure what your situation is, you could be like a walking masturbator  kind of like a sleep walker or you might have some kind of disorder, what ever the reason is, why in the world are you wearing a damn black thong? This ain't Europe son, this is good 'ol mid-west, that shit just don't fly here.

PS. I don't know who the hell that guy is, but I figured everyone needed some kind of visual.

Hello, I'm A Whale

Does anyone else get a kick out of this kind of news. I just love it when animals fuck shit up.
This should teach those bastards to never come around his block again.

This Dog Knows What I'm Talking About

I know buddy, it's hard getting up in the morning.

Indian Man Beaten And Forced To Marry

Take notes to all Indian men, never date a girl in India. It's fun chasing tails, but you might end up getting beaten up and dragged to the temple to get hitched.
Honestly I'm not even sure why the hell he's all going nuts, I personally think this chick is even too good looking for him. Hey bro, I got news for you, there is no fair skinned beauty coming to your flower shop, so take what you can get and enjoy the shit out of it.

Hairy Burger

An owner of a local Wendy's restaurant said a disgusting find in a hamburger is an isolated incident.Two fast-food restaurant employees at a Moundsville Wendy's were suspended from their jobs and charges are pending after a sheriff's deputy said he found pubic hair on his sandwich Sunday. According to the Marshall County Sheriff's Department, the deputy opened his sandwich and spotted a ball of pubic hair. 32-year-old Bender admitted to putting the hair on the food, and 20-year-old Monroe admitted he encouraged Bender to do it. wtov9

Oh what was that, you want some extra pickles, how about some extra pubic hair. Seriously this joke never gets old, cop orders a burger and a retard decides to put some pubic hair on it. When was the last time anyone thought it was bright idea to mess with a cop?
I wonder how the conversation went between these two idiots.
"Hey dude lets stick it to the man, You pull out some pubic hair while I watch for the cop."
"Ok dude."
I guess you really can't blame him, he's 32 working at Wendy's, I'd say he might of have hit his career peek, its all down hill from there anyway.

PS. Note to myself never stop at the Moundsville Wendy's.

New Study, 13-Foot Pet Boa Kills

A 13-foot boa constrictor wrapped itself around its owner's neck and killed the man in his home, authorities said. An acquaintance found Ted Dres, 48, inside the snake's cage Saturday and called police, the Hamilton County Sheriff's office said. The snake was still strangling Dres when deputies arrived, and the officers had to work with members of an animal protection group to remove the reptile, the sheriff's office said. washingtonpost

Honestly I am so happy for this snake, People who dick around with snakes should receive death.We humans are not meant to keep big ass snakes as pets, and if you really want a pet get a cat, get a dog.
It's usually a good idea not to get animals that are bigger than you for examples stay away from lions, tigers, monkeys, bears and other animals that can kill you in a matter of minutes. But if you want to be a dumb ass like Mr. Ted Dres please go for it.

Kentucky Bans Texting While Driving, But It's Ok To Date Your Sister

 Is this just a dumb law or what, because you know in Kentucky you can practically get away with just about anything.
I mean who really gives a shit about texting while driving? Doesn't law makers in Kentucky have better things to do than worry about texting. How about Kentucky's 99% unemployment rate or your dwindling economy?
Honestly I don't care about Kentucky or texting I just wanted to play this video because of Meghan Mongillo.

Mel Gibson Ape Shit Rant

So this whole Mel Gibson ape shit rant has been going around for a week or so. And I have a feeling that every one is getting on Mel for this language, and I understand that. There was few occasions where he took it overboard.
But lets not forget what his overall message is. He is basically saying if you dress like a hoe and act like a hoe, you are a hoe. And you will probably get rapped. And I kind of think Mel is right.
And I don't think this bitch is an angel. Look how calm she is the whole time, she totally set him up.

PS. Bonus video of how badly Mel want a blow job.

High School Car Wash Girls Are Pissing Me Off

I honestly think there is a fundraising bikini car wash going on every day at my local grocery store (Krogers on Beechmont).
I am all about charity work and I do give a shit about stupid causes, but come on this is too much. I don't wanna drive up to Kroger and see 13 year old girls in their bikinis prancing around and begging to give a car wash. This shit just looks wrong and it just feels wrong, and I'm not even thinking anything dirty. I don't like seeing girls sell their barely post-puberty bodies off in an effort to raise money.

I don't know what kind of people would feel comfortable going to these kinds of car wash.
Since I am a nice guy and I don't wanna see these girls not being able to play soccer or compete in cheerleading.So I suggest get these girls mom's in a bikini and get them to the car wash.
Follow on Twitter: @Cilii_blog

Tone It Down Bro

I'm at Ault park for the July 4th fireworks and this is what I see. Seriously what is this kid wearing, is this a glow in the dark shirt? I mean the only thing brighter than his shirt at the park was the fireworks. Tone it down a little bro.

Old Chick Dresses Like Young Boy To Get With Young Girl

"Patricia Jean Dye, 31, of Franklin, is being held in the Butler County Jail on charges of corruption of a minor, importuning and three counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
"She was pretending to be a young male – a teenage male – and in doing so, she arranged for and had sexual conduct with a teenage girl," said Matt Nolan, spokesman for the Warren County Prosecutor's Office. Detectives were the first to tell the victim her boyfriend was a woman. "When the victim found out... she was very upset." news.cincinnati

Is this like a scene from "Boys Don't Cry"?

Anyway, how did this 16 year old chick not know that her boyfriend was not a boy. After all they are arranging her for sexual conduct? I feel like the story is missing something. And what was the 16 year old girl doing going to a motel room with a "14 year old boy?" bizarre on many levels.

PS. Is it just me or does the picture look like Gordon Hayward or Rachel Maddow.

Breaking News

My Lord its been freaking hot outside the last couple of days.
I feel like getting a bag of ice for my sack too.

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