Breast Implants Divide Bengals Locker Room

No, no I'm not talking about Andre Smith. I'm talking about the Ben-Gals. According to the oldest cheerleader in history Laura Vikmanis, the locker room is divided by girls with real melons and bolt on's.
"The most prominent division on the Ben-Gals is not between the young girls and the older girls but between the Real Boobs and the Fake Boobs," she told the Cincinnati Enquirer

I know for a fact my girl @alysonjordan is on the natural side of things. Don't worry, I pledge to make it my life's work, to bring unity and togetherness to this locker room. But strictly as a man, I have to say, who give a shit, it's all about the ass anyway. Until they start getting butt implants, I don't give a shit.

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The Cheerleader vs The Blogger: NFL Picks Conference Championship

There was some great games during the divisional playoffs. I the back of my mind I had a feeling the 49ers could stop the Saints but I had no clue that Alex Smith would be balling out of control. In the other upset it was pretty evident that the Giant could easily upset the Packers. Just good running game and great defense.
So what will we get during the Conference Championship games


Last week:
Cheerleader: 1-3
Blogger: 3-1

Season Record:
Cheerleader: 51-42
Blogger: 54-39

Follow Blogger: @CILII_BLOG
Follow Cheerleader: @AlysonJordan

Conference Championship:

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The Scriptures On Tim Tebow

This whole Tim Tebow thing is hilarious. He's like the great white hype that just won't go away. When he fails as a QB the fans will be calling him to be the head coach or something.

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After Thoughts: Indianapolis Colts vs Cincinnati Bengals 10/16/2011

Who Dey!

I really mean it. Who Dey!
The Bengals beat the Colts 27-17.
A three game winning streak is good for my health and for many others in the Tri-State. Just wish the boys in stripes didn't let the game get so close late in the 4th.

I know I wasn't the only one worried when the Colts started to run the no-huddle in the 4th. They seemed to move the ball easily on the defense.

The turning point of the game easily have to be Carlos Dunlaps fumble return for a TD to give the Bengals some breathing room. Something that should not be overlooked is how well both Whitworth and Smith played against Robert Mathis and Dwight Freeney. The one person the defense had to key in on was Garcon, and they did just that. Garcon was limited to 8 catches for 52 yards.

To me one things is becoming clear and that is Bernard Scott is not a future back. He sure can be a spark plug but nothing more. And that man Brian Leonard is reliable as the Sun, always there to pick up those first down in critical situations.

Mr. A.J. Green continues his seller rookie campaign with another TD. And Red Riffle also continues his outstanding rookie campaign. Dalton had a 111.5 QB rating with 1 TD and 264 yards.
With the bye week coming up, it will the perfect time to work on some of their issues such as ill timed penalties, and inconsistency in the run game.



PS. Lets not forget, with this win Marvin Lewis ties Sam Wyche for the most wins in franchise history.

Double PS. Jerome Simpson needs to stop spraying Pam on his gloves. I know he had a big day but him dropping balls has been a problem all season long.

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Cincinnati Bengals vs Jacksonville Jaguars Recap 10/09/2011

In a battle of rookie QB's, our boy red rifle outperformed Blaine Gabbert to lead the Bengals to a 30-20 come from behind win.

This game was not pretty in anyway, but a win is a win and that's all that matters.

To me the biggest play of the game had to be when Marvin decided to go for it on 4th and 6th with a little over 4 minutes left in the game. Instead of kicking a field goal to cutting the lead down to 19-20, the Bengals actually went for it and ended up with a TD. I honestly didn't think Marvin had guts to go for it, not because he never takes many chances, but because 3rd down has been a struggle for the Bengals all season long.


Both Dalton and Green had another solid outing as they continue their impressive rookie campaign.
Dalton ended up with 179 yards with 2 TD's and 1 INT. And Green ended up with 5 catches for 90 yards and  a TD.




The running game was just horrendous against the Jags. With the offensive line unable to create many openings, Benson had a hard time getting going. But what a great call on 3rd and goal, when everyone thought it was going to be a pass, Jay Gruden call for a simple inside hand off to Bernard Scott.

With only one blown coverage by the defense that lead to a Jason Hill TD, the defense again played an outstanding second half.
The defense kept up pressure on Blaine Gabbert through out the game. It seemed like Gabbert had a hard time getting into any kind of rhythm. This Bengals defense truly seems like a top 5 defense.

With this win the Bengals are keeping pace with division leaders Steelers and Ravens.

Who else think both Mike Nugget and Hubber and early season team MVP candidates?

Both Dalton and Green had another solid outing to continue their impressive rookie campaign.

Dalton ended up with 179 yards with 2 TD's and 1 INT. And Green ended up with 5 catches for 90 yards and  a TD.

I'm glad the boys on the D-line got a well deserved TD.

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San Francisco 49ers vs Cincinnati Bengals Recap 9/25/2011

Before we start, can someone get me this shirt from Look At Me Shirts?

I watched the Bengals very first drive when they went 12 plays for 76 yards in 6 minutes and 16 seconds to get a field goal. Andy Dalton looked like he was going to have another solid start. Andre Cladwell looked like he was fitting in nicely at the no. 2 WR spot. After that first drive I was feeling pretty confident in the Bengals getting a win at home. So I decided to skip the rest of the game and go play some paint ball. I come back home 6 hours later and see the Bengals lost 13-8. WTF, was my first thought. That is such an ugly score line.

So after reading all the reviews and watching all the highlights, it was pretty evident it was an ugly, boring game. And in hindsight I was kind of happy I skipped the football game to go play paint ball.

It was a shame that the offense couldn't duplicate what they had done against the Browns or Broncos especially considering how the defense played. Alex Smith was sacked 5 times in this game. I don't even know the last time the Bengals front line put so much pressure on a QB. The 49ers didn't get on the board until the middle of the third quarter. The 49ers could only rack up 226 yards of total offense. Even with how badly the 49ers played, the Bengals found a way to lose the game.

If this was Andy Dalton's first game, I wouldn't of have been so surprised or upset. But this was his third game, maybe I got my hopes up too high considering how he played the previous two weeks. Maybe this was sobering reality check of how young and inexperienced the Bengals offense is. When you start three rookies and the play calling is done by a rookie offensive coordinator I guess it is normal to have days like this.

The one thing that continues to plague this offense is the inefficiencies on 3rd down. That was one of the main reasons they lost at Denver and it was the same reason they could not find an success against the 49ers.

Anyway, I like what Paul Daugherty had to say.
"Some games lend themselves to heavy analysis and lots of adjectives. This wasn’t one of those. The next time you curse a blacked-out Sunday, reflect on this blacked-out Sunday. That’ll stop you in your tracks."


Well if you want to live through the horse shit of a game that was played between the 49ers and Bengals.
Here is the highlight.

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Looking Forward: Bengals vs Broncos

The good news is Andy Dalton was full go in practice, so it's safe to assume he'll be ready for Sunday. If not, Gradkowski will get the start, after all he did bring the Bengals back for a win, even if it was on a fluke play.

For once there might be another team in the NFL that is more disorganized than the Bengals. So Sunday should present a great opportunity for the Bengals to start 2-0. Even though Kyle Orton is not getting much love from the Broncos fans, he is still a dangerous QB that can put up some numbers.

But if the Bengals defense can continue to put the pressure on Orton as they did on McCoy and have no turnover on offense, this should be a winnable game.

There is also a good chance Champ Bailey might not play, currently he's listed as questionable. The one play the Bengals need to keep an eye on is the No. 2 pick the draft in Von Miller.

I think the one place the Bengals have a clear advantage is at the line of scrimmage. As I was watching the MNF game (Raiders vs Broncos), it was evident the O-line and the D-line of the Broncos were being dominated by the Raiders.

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Cincinnati Bengals vs Cleveland Browns Recap 9/11/2011

What a better way to start your NFL career than face the instate rival in Cleveland Browns. With many familiar faces gone from the team this was different look Bengals, and It was evident it the play as they beat the Cleveland Browns 27-17.

I'm not sure if Andy Dalton's first career start got off to a smooth start as he marched the Bengals down the field to get a Mike Nugent 24 field goal as the Bengals took an early 3-0 lead.

In his second series, Andy Dalton led the Bengals down the  field for a 2 yard hook up with Jermaine Gresham to extend the Bengals lead to 10-0.

All along the Bengals defense has been putting pressure on the Browns who had to settle for three straight punts before they got on the score board.

On the next two Browns possession Colt McCoy led this teams to two straight touchdowns to give the Browns a 14-13 lead going into half-time, mostly assisted by two blown coverage on defense. 

The second half was a defensive battle, until the Browns feel asleep at the line of scrimmage and the Bengals ran a quick snap count to get A.J. Green wide open for a 41 yard hook up from the backup QB Gradkowski.

That touchdown put the Bengals up 20-17, from there on it was all about the Bengals defense. The defense stepped up when their name was called. Everything the Browns tired to do, the defense stopped.

And just to put a little cherry on top, Cedric Benson on 3rd and 3 with less than 2 minutes left, got a rushing touchdown to put the Bengals up 27-17.

I have to admit, I didn't give much of a chance to the Bengals after Dalton went out with a wrist injury. I don't think anyone put any faith in Bruce Gradkowski to rally this team for a win, but he did.

Major props goes to the defense for winning the line of scrimmage and for no penalties. Also credit goes to the offense for no turnovers.

Special credit goes to Dunlap, he kept putting pressure on McCoy though out the game. Also give credit to Nelson for making big hit after big hit. The offensive line played really well, kept both the QB's safe and protected though out the game.

On a side note, Dalton was 10 of 15 with 81 yard and one TD with a passer rating of 102.5. Those numbers would have been much better if some of the WR's didn't drop a few balls.

Denver next week.

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Introducing Calling It Like It Is Official Fantasy Football League

Hey Bengals nations, since the lockout is over let's get to the real matter of things. I'm talking about setting up your fantasy football league.
So this year, Calling It Like It Is will be doing the first ever Fantasy Football League through ESPN.
If you are interested contact me through twitter or contact me here.
Depending on my back account at end of the season a small prize awaits the winner.

 

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The NFL Lockout Needs To End ASAP

I'm serious this shit needs to end ASAP otherwise the Bengals won't have enough players to fill out the roster when the season starts.
Three arrest in eight days has to be some kind of record right?
But seriously Ray Lewis was right when he said, crime will increase with no NFL. That man is a prophet.
I'm a fan of Cedric Benson, but keep your hands for yourself man. This arrest probably just cost him couple of millions.
These arrest are not just concentrated on the Bengals players, but through out the NFL. My boy at Sports Behemoth has a nice break down on all the players arrested since the lockout started.
But the one person I don't feel sorry for is that bitch Hines Ward. That asshole deserves it.

   

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Marvin Lewis Is Back To Coach The Cincinnati Bengals

Things Done Changed

Since Marvin just singed a new contract, will this be a good thing or bad thing? It will all depends on how you look at it. If Marvin didn't sign this contract, no one decent will take this job because Mike Brown has his hand in too many important decisions.
And since Marvin is coming back we can still expect the same kind of results we have been seeing for the past couple of year. An undisciplined, mismanaged team that falls short of expectations.



Supposedly, Marvin would only sign the contract if things changed, and by him signing the contract it shows that Marvin is getting his changes, what ever that maybe. Either way I don't think it will be a substantial change from previous years.
I really would like to know what kind of changed Marvin wanted. Is it control over personnel issues, changes in the practice facility, or scouting and personnel departments?
What I don't understand is that, Marvin was offered a contract before the season started  but he would not sign it. So then he goes 4-12 and he is still offered a contract. I mean if this was any other franchise, Marvin would have been canned half way through the season. Like Mike Brown said in the press conference, he like continuity, that can only mean we will see most of the same coaching staff and players next season too. But I think continuity for long of a period is not always a good thing, because it can lead to compliance.

I'm sure the only change the Bengals fans want is a new ownership, and if they can't have that they want a new offensive coordinator.
Anyway in the end, I don't think anything positive or any kind of substantial change will come out of this announcement. Honestly I was not impressed with the press conference and I don't think many fans of this football team was impressed either. More of the same fuckery straight ahead.

Image 1

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Recap Cincinnati Bengals vs Baltimore Ravens

Bengals: Losers
Ravens: 13

Last game of the season, and it couldn't come any sooner.
So I'm just gonna keep this short and sweet.
Through out the season the Bengals underachieved, from the coaching staff to the players.
At least for next season lets try to be average.
Go Bengals.

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Recap San Diego Chargers vs Cincinnati Bengals

Chargers - 20
Bengals - Who cares

Here is the recap but not really a recap, but more of me whining and complaining.
OK, well that was an interesting ball game, no superstar WR's and the Bengals put up 34 points and Carson goes for 16 of 21 for 269 yards and 4 TD's.
Like I said before, you don't need big time RB's or WR's to win football games, all you need a good coach, good QB, good O and D line.
Anyway thanks to the Bengals, now the the fans will hope for a successful season next year. But failing 18 out of 20 years does not tempt me.
But I will say this, Jerome Simpson just proved me wrong and many other people in and around Cincinnati.
Sometimes people just need a chance to show what they got and sometimes the coach's take out the old and put in something new.
If only this coaching staff could adjust during game time and game plan better, I wonder where this team could of have been.
Even with this win, I'm still disappointed in this team and in this season. Wish they would of figured things around sooner rather than later.

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Recap Cleveland Browns vs Cincinnati Bengals

Browns - 17
Bengals - Who cares

The 75th Battle Of Ohio has come and gone, and no one missed a thing. The Battle of Ohio should be known as "Lets see who sucks more". I mean when was the last time this rivalry was relevant?
Like I stated last week, for the rest of the season I will not be recapping any more Bengals game, rather I will bitch and complaining about anything I can think of.
But let me say this first, Jerome Simpson caught two passes.
So what made the Bengals a good team that won the AFC North last year and what made them into a 3-11 so far this year? Last year the Bengals was a good rushing team, which meant that they controlled the ball and possession with limited turnovers. So in the off-season, the Bengals organization decided that to be an even better football team that they needed to stretch the field, which meant we needed a good WR. So they went and got TO, which is fine, because TO is a great player and a match up problem for any DB's.
But what the Bengals didn't need to do was become a pass happy team rather than a rushing team. There is only a few teams in the NFL that can just rely on the aerial attack to win games. Adding a great WR is a good addition to an already pretty good team, but the philosophy and scheme didn't need to change just because of one single player. Switching from a rushing team to a passing team put Carson Palmer in a position that he might have not been comfortable in.

You can't blame anyone when Carson starts throwing INT's, but you can blame the OC for the play calling which can sometimes lead to the defense recognizing the pattern and jumping it. And I feel like the coaches this season has not put the players in a good position to do their jobs.

So honestly I wouldn't be upset if Carson stuck around for next season, but I would be a little upset if the coaching staff has not been fired and replaced.

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Recap Pittsburgh Steelers vs Cincinnati Bengals

Bengals - who cares they lost
Steelers - 23
For the rest of the season, I will not recap any of the Bengals game either win or lose. But what I will do is continue to bitch and complain about the Bengals.
Let me first say this, Dan Dierdorf was all over ever single Steeler dick today, I mean he just couldn't stop.
What will be on the Bengals agenda this off-season? New QB? Some Offensive and Defensive tackles? Maybe some good depth at DB's? Maybe some faster, stronger LB's? Maybe a new coach?
I never seem to hear Keith Rivers name being mentioned during any game? I mean for being a former first round pick, he doesn't seem to make many plays.

Lately, every time Carson throws a pass I get a little worried, cause I always feel like its going to be an INT. And he showed today why I feel that way. Anyway, the look on Carson's face tells me that he is tired and he's out of it. Might be for the better if the Bengals and Carson said their goodbyes. Looks like he needs a new start somewhere else, seems like he is tired of Skyline chili and smoked sausages from John Morrell.
Can Brat stop calling these plays on 3rd down, where the route always seem to be short of the first down marker? And also stop with this nonsense screen passes to our TE, especially Reggie Kelly. Speaking of Reggie Kelly, he needs to retire.

Stat: ESPN

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Recap New Orleans Saints vs Cincinnati Bengals

Saints - 34
Bengals - 30

I'm going to try an underachieve on my post just like my beloved Bengals.
Every week it just gets worse. Why do I still care about this team?
Everybody knows on 4th down the offense is going to try and make the defense jump offsides. Everybody, that is, except for the Bengals.
Like my boy @DBert said "Bengals and Marvin have to be trying to do this shit on purpose, I am not kidding, there is no way the are this dumb, Marvin wants to be fired."
Cam Newton welcome home. Wait a minute will Cam end up as another Akili Smith? I'm so confused.
Is the season over yet?

Stat: ESPN

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Recap Cincinnati Bengals vs New York Jets

Bengals - 10
Jets - 26

First of all let me say this, Matt Millen have no right to criticize anyone, after his achievements at Detroit. So here is a big FU to you Matt Millen.

The first half, Carson Palmer showed as how terrible his decision making is, I was ready for his younger brother Jordan Plamers to replace him. I mean what was he looking at or what was he thinking when he threw those 2 first half INT's? It was just mind blowing.
I'm just happy the Bengals went into the half with a 7-3 lead. The Bengals are lucky the Jets only have an average offense, because if the Jets had a good offense, they would have taken advantages of the Bengals fuck up. On the other hand I don't need to remind anyone what the Buffalo Bills did to the Bengals in the second half last week.

And the second half turned out exactly how I predicted. Jets making adjustments and the Bengals not making adjustments.
Look on the bright side, the Bengals did make adjustment compared to the last week when they game up 35 points to the Bills in the second half.
I guess losing to a team like the Jets by only 16 points ain't so bad, I'm sure that's what Marvin Lewis reasoning will be.

One specific play was stuck in my mind after the game. It was the 3rd and 14 at Cincinnati 21 in the 4th quarter. Bengals put Gresham at half-back and threw a swing pass, yes the Bengals put Gresham in the backfield and they threw a swing pass. Lets me say that again, its 3rd and 14 and the Bengals put a TE, Gresham in the backfield and throws a swing pass. I mean really a TE? I know he is a good athlete, but damn was that play necessary?

Two costly mistakes by the special teams lead to 14 points.
I was watching the game on an HD television at home and for the life of me I could not tell if that fucking ball hit Andre Caldwell in the fucking helmet or not. So how in the world can a side-line judge make that call? And why the fuck didn't Marvin fucking challenge that call? This is why everyone thinks you are a joke Marvin, you suck, you have no balls, no desire.

The defense did its job today, got couple of sacks, got couple of knock down, played better than they have last couple of weeks. At least the young players are keep making some meaningful play compared to some veterans (R.Geather, Peko). I also have to give credit to the patchwork of Bengals secondary.

The offense continue to struggle, just like it has done the entire fucking season. Hey Bob Bratkowski, I know things have not been working out, so why don't you try something else for a change? Just saying.
Honestly this lose looks likes every other lose in this season, can't put together 4 complete quarters, bad turnovers, bad metal mistakes, the inability to convert on third downs.
And what the fuck is up with Quan Cosby fair catching all the punts inside the 5 yard line? Please, someone fire the special teams coach?

Image: AP Photo/Bill Kostroun
State: ESPN

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What to do with Marvin Lewis?

"I see a future here. For everybody involved, I want this thing. I haven't got done what I came here to do, and I failed them. But we're still doing it, and we're going to keep on doing it and just keep working at it. This has not been the season we all wanted, but it is where we are right now. I think we continue, my guys coach very hard, and that's not going to change." said Lewis.

Its kind of like dealing with someone who is fat person, they don't want to admit they have a eating problem, but everyone else knows they have a problem. Same thing with Marvin, everyone else knows things need to change, but Marvin can't see that. Sometimes an outsider has a better perspective of whats going on, than a person in the middle of the storm.

Let me say this, after living through the 90's, I am happy the Bengals won the division twice in a decade. And I have to give credit to Marvin for achieving those heights.
On some level the the lack of consistent success is Marvin's fault, but on the other hand its the fault of the man sitting at the top of the pyramid.

I'm just afraid if the Bengals do let Marvin go, we might encounter another long drought before we are relevant again. I don't have any faith in Mike Brown being able to hire a guy that can bring in any type of success. I know lot of fans out there want the next coach to be Zimmer, but let me remind everyone of what happened last time when we got rid of a coach and replaced him with a defensive coordinator (Dick LeBeau).

I think what this teams is some fresh faces on the coaching staff. Starting with a new offensive coordinator, new defensive line coach, and a new offensive line coach.
Secondly I think this teams need to rebuild, its time to let some players go. Chad, Carson, Geather, Peko, Dhani Jones, Reggie Kelly, Jerome Simpson, Quan Cosby, Roy Williams, Tank Johnson, Nate Livings, Dennis Roland, Bobbie Williams.

I'll just say this, I wish the NFL was not a revenue sharing league, because Mike Brown is content with collecting his money no matter what goes on.

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Recap Buffalo Bills vs Cincinnati Bengals

Bills - 49
Bengals - 31

How to recap this game?
The Bengals teases everyone for the first half then, spits in our face in the second half.
Yes you can blame in on the injuries, but how can you let a big lead like that against a crappy team like the Buffalo Bills disappear? It is just mind numbing to think about this game.

This is how much the football Gods hate the Bengals, a Whitworth holding penalty wipes out a Palmer to Owens touchdown, then couple of plays later Palmer is picked off in the end zone by the Bills, who runs it back to the Bengals 49. I swear the Bengals just cannot catch a break, and as a fan the only thing I can do is just smile and say that's the Bengals. But I do have to admit the Whitworth holding penalty was a bogus call.

After the Bengals lost three starting DB's, Fitzpatrick started to heat up and eventually he caught on fire.
You can just see the momentum swing to the Buffalo side and it seemed like there was nothing the Bengals could.
After the injuries to the starters what kind of adjustments did the coaching staff make? Seems like to me they did not make any kind of adjustment and that's why Ryan Fitzpatrick was able to put a whooping on the Bengals defense.

The one word I think of after watching this game is "Sickening".
I feel like I have lots to say, but I can't think of the proper words, the only thing I can do is shake my head.


Lets play some blame game, I blame it on Carson, I blame in on Marvin, I blame on the defense, I blame it on the DB's that got injured, I blame it on Mike Brown, I blame it on Gus Johnson, I blame it on my dog, and I blame it on the sweet and sour chicken I ate for lunch today.

Up to this point I have not said the Bengals needs to clean the house, but after today, I think its time to move on with some players. Need some new faces and some new energy.

Stat: ESPN
Image: @StephanieBengal

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Recap Cincinnati Bengals vs Indianapolis Colts

Bengals - 16
Colts - 23
Another Bengals game and another disappointing showing. How many games can you start out by putting your self in a hole? Just can't win many games like that.
There is no discipline, no passion, bad turnover, cant convert on 3rd downs, and the list just keeps going on.
The Bengals have all these big time super stars on the team, but on the other side the Colts are ravaged by injuries and have no names. But they do have the most important player in Payton Manning and bunch of people that are football players and that seems to be good enough for them to keep winning football games.
I think its safe to say, we can look back on many of the Bengals game and say they should of have won that game. But good teams find ways to make it happen.
I know the Bengals can't be the best team every time they play, but they could put up a decent fight without looking so lack luster.

Chad had a monster game, Carson had a bad start, then got hot, then got really cold. The defense did what it could to keep the Bengals alive. The special teams did nothing.
I am really curious to find out why they keep putting Quan Cosby back there to return punts and not Bernard Scott? It either a fair catch or no catch, he never seems to make any kind of play.
For all the bad play, bad calls, bad turnovers, and bad penalties, some how, some way the Bengals were still in a position on win the game in the 4th quarter. But another turnover by the rookie TE dashed all hopes of a Bengals win.
Its mind boggling to think with 5 turnovers, the Bengals where in a position to win the game on the final drive.
You can just look at the last drive by the Bengals to realize what is wrong with this team, not protecting the QB with game game on the line and our diva WR walking back to the line of  scrimmage when the clock keeps running. If you don't have a desire to fight until the end, the get the fuck of the team.
If Marvin had any class, decency or balls he would be cutting some players after today's game. But sadly everyone on this team is a mirror image of the owner.

Image: NFL
Stat: ESPN

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