Bengals vs. Browns re-cap Week 12

Is it me or even with an 8-3 record and the sweep of the toughest division in AFC, we are still looked at as an underdog. Like Brian Kelly said at the end of the day all anyone care about is a win, and I agree, I wish we could hang 50 on the Browns but I'm not sweating it, especially when our defense is playing like its is. Every time I watch the game, there is one guy that keeps popping up every where and that dude is Brandon Johnson, that guy is ever where trying to make plays. Its gonna be tough to take him off the field when Rivers comes back from his injury.
Is it gonna be L. Johnson or C. Benson? I know everyone is talking about this subject, and if your sitting in section 312 at PBS I bet you cant tell the difference at who's running the ball. This shouldn't even be a subject, when Benson gets back its his to loose. LJ really has not done much yet, yea I know he rushed for over 100 against the Browns but we all know what the Browns are.

Bearcats Remains Unbeaten

I wonder how everyone around the Country feels about the ass whopping Illinois got today from the Bearcats. Are they thinking this is a good team worthy of a BCS National Championship game or do they think we have a good offense with an average Defense. Don't get me wrong I love watching this team and I feel like they will win every game they play. But I'm gonna call it like it is, we let a shitty Illinois team put 36 on us. That is not a champion ship caliber team, period. I don't care how good our offense is, if your defense cant hold, it's not going to matter much. Does the offense score too quickly, to the point where the defense is on the field more?
I was happy to see Pike back in action, going nuts on Illinois was fun to watch. I hope we put up some more huge numbers against Pitt next week. And we'll take all the style points we can get.
"I think Nebraska's going to beat Texas and we're going to beat Pittsburgh," Kelly said. "That's just the way I'm wired."
Love the attitude by Kelly, he would get my holidays off right if he just came out and said he is taking himself out of the ND job. I mean shit, who want to take the ND job anyway, its not the same position it was ten or fifteen years ago.

Starting Point At Maui

The Bearcats came out of the EA Sports Maui Invitational with two wins over ranked teams, but then in the Championship game the Bearcats let a 10 point second-half lead slip away and lost to Gonzaga, 61-59, in overtime. This was a frustrating game to watch toward the end of the 2nd half and in OT. I still don't know why we kept jacking up 3-pointer when we have three guys that can handle the ball and get some penetration.
With three refs on the floor, I guess non of those blind jackasses saw that Gates was hacked on the last play of regulation. I'm not sure if this is a team that will score bunch of points but I'm sure they will compete in many games with their tough physical defense.
Deonta Vaughn is the sixth best free throw shooter in UC basketball history, but he missed two in overtime which could of have tied the game. But I hope this is a starting point for something special this year. Other wise, Mick I'm looking at you.

P.S. - Not sure about the chicken wing design on the shoulders of the new jersey.

Coach Kelly Will You Stay?

“This is the silly season. We’ve been having this conversation for the last two years. It will continue to happen while I’m at the University of Cincinnati, because nobody thinks that Cincinnati is a destination job.’’

Those words were uttered by Coach Brain Kelly sometime ago. I just wanted to re-visit this subject, because Wise has pretty much gave ND permission to fire him and Urban Meyer has pledged his love for the Gator nation.
Will Coach Kelly come out and make a statement like Meyer did, about his devotion to this University and to this program he is building, that will regularly be a top 10 team in the country.
I hope he wasnt just blowing smoke when he said "Cincinnati is a destination job". Right about now the City of Cincinnati is ready to make any type of sacrifice to keep Kelly here.

This Just Makes Me Proud

"Hunters are donating more venison to strapped food banks as Ohio and other states offer financial aid aimed at managing high deer populations. It's a much-needed boost for pantries struggling to meet rising demand.
Groups like Farmers and Hunters Feeding the Hungry and Safari Club International have promoted venison donations to pantries in Ohio and other states, but processing and packaging costs deter hunters, especially in tough economic times." msnbc

I'll Kill You, Then I'll Marry You

"A couple jailed for trying to kill each other have vowed to marry when they get out of prison. Lea O, 25, from Split, stabbed her boyfriend Stevo K, 28, from the northern town of Novska, after he almost beat her to death during a furious row, tabloid 24 Sata reported."

I swear this is true love, this is what more couples should do before they get married, they should almost kill each other first and see if one can forgive the other. This way they will know, no matter what comes their way, they would be able to face it.

Badass Kangaroo

"A kangaroo startled by a man walking his dog attacked the pair, pinning the pet underwater and slashing the owner in the abdomen with its hind legs. The Australian, Chris Rickard, was in stable condition Monday after the attack, which ended when the 49-year-old elbowed the kangaroo in the throat."

A total badass in the animal kingdom, we might have to pull up a chair for the Kangaroo next to the Lions, Bears and Tigers. Why would anyone piss off a sleeping Kangaroo, this Kangaroo had a plan when he went to sleep. I think anyone of us would be a little pissed off if someone woke us from a good nap. I feel bad for the Aussie but I'm on the Kangaroo's side here.
No matter how it went down, this kangaroo wasn't taking shit from anyone especially some prick with a pussy dog named Rocky. Imagine what this Kangaroo would have done if it had some training with Mickey Goldmill.

Bengals vs. Raiders re-cap Week 11

Holy crap what happened between the Bengals and the Raiders, that was one of the ugliest football game I have seen in a while. I don't even know where to begin, the worst division in the NFL beats up the best division. The only reason I'm not steaming mad is because Steelers lost today. It feels like each time we play a team, we only play up to the level of our opponent. It seems like we only do enough just to win the game (except the Bears game), why cant we put the game away by the end of the 3rd quarter? The inability to kill the game keeps coming back to haunt us in the end.
Coming off a big win at Steelers and then having to travel all the way to the West Coast, this was setting up to be the ultimate trap game. Damn Bruce Gradkowski, he does it to the Bengals again.
And what the hell is up with Andre Caldwell returning the kick off, when we have Bernard Scott and Cosby?
Bengals 17 - Raiders 20

Caught With Pants Down

"A witness informed a police officer at the Boone County Library that there was a man on a computer masturbating watching a wrestling video."

First of all I want to thank my Southern neighbor Kentucky for another golden nugget. Is it me or does this just seems like a normal day at the public library, he just happened to get caught. I swear I have seen guys watching porn with no concern. I mean who can blame him, he was probably watching the Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior WWF Title Match at Wrestlemania 6.

Charlie Coles Getting Feisty

This is why Charlie Coles is the man, a living legend in the SW corners of Ohio. I'm just happy that he didn't have a heart attack when douche bag Dick Gabriel asked that question.
Keep it going coach Coles.

Man Sues Officers For Moving His Porn

"An Okeana man is suing after he says a Butler County sheriff's deputy, a state wildlife officer, and another officer violated his civil rights. James alleges that during the four-hour search, the officers moved his pornography collection. He says the officers turned on some sex toys and played some porn tapes, putting them in plain sight." wcpo

Guns, porno magazines, sex toys, sounds like we need to call in the Hazmat squad. In all seriousness how could they violate his civil right to hide his porno? I just cant believe what this world is coming too, when a normal person just cant keep his magazines in place. Those bastard cops have to come and move shit all over the place making jerking off difficult for him.

Fight The Repo Man

"An Ohio man was accused of striking a repo man with his car when he tried to take it back after it was repossessed. Police said 41-year-old Charles Alexander was arrested late Saturday near his home in the small town of Silverton, near Cincinnati. He was held without bond Monday on a felony charge of attempted vehicular assault." newsvine

I love this story, I am just sad that he didn't get away with his car. Don't anyone know that a car is a black mans mecca, you just cant take that shit away, unless you are ready to get assaulted. I mean how could you not hate on repo people, they are just asking for it. I honestly think my hatred for repo people started after I started to watch those fat bitches on "Operation Repo".

Onion video of the week

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Oh damn, when will the day come where Glenn Beck is not on television any more?
Don't be surprised if you see this bitch at a cross burning and white hoods wearing rally.

Bengals vs. Steelers re-cap Week 10

If you ain't drinking that orange Who Dey cool aid yet, you better start soon. On this God given Sunday, the boys from Cincinnati had a bigger pair of nuts and they were busting through the steel curtain. I loved the swagger the defense brings to the field every time, Brandon Johnson that brother was out of control in this game. It seemed like they were calling his name left and right.
When Odom went out, I started to wonder where the sacks where the sacks gonna come from. I knew Michael Johnson was a freak at Georgia Tech, but I wasn't sure he could step it up in his rookie year, but what do I know, every time he's on the field he's making plays. Which leads me to my next point, this year more than any other year since 1997 we have a defense that is physical and fast and we also have depth at every single position, from coroner backs to defensive tackles.
Unless the Earth stops spinning, I cant see why this team wont make the play-offs, the only real question is can they win enough games to get a bye in the first round.
Bengals 18 - Steelers 12

Cincinnati Bearcats Squeeze One Out

From blowouts early in the season, to last minute games late in the season. Second straight week, Bearcats found itself needing an onside recovery to seal the deal.  Should I start to worry or should I just be happy that the Bearcats and still undefeated. 
With Pike coming in for red zone snaps, should we automatically assume that he will be the starter against Illinois? We all saw Zach Collaros make some terrible mistakes last night, which kept game close, if those turnovers were eliminated, I am pretty confident this would have been a run away game for the Bearcats.
When Pead fumbled while diving over the pile and stretching the ball toward the goal line, I think everyone at the bar said "oh fuck", no joke.
I am defiantly proud of these Bearcats, after winning close games against good opponents, I saw bring on the Big Ten and Pitt.

Quarterback Jarrett Brown, is a baller no doubt.

Bengals Hater

"School officials in Hamilton put eighth-grader Dustin Reader into in-school suspension Monday when he showed up with the new hairstyle in tribute to the Bengals' good season. The school says its code of conduct prohibits extreme and distracting hairstyles."

So let me get this straight, he got an in school suspension for putting a B on the back of his head? Come on school sup with that, I know he is a lil wigger but, this doesn't look like that big of a distraction. I grantee if this kid was black and he had some design cut into his hair there would be no problem, cause the school would be too scared to even bring up the subject.
On the other hand, if you watch the video you know this lil bastard is probably a trouble maker at school and probably don't do shit at school besides mack on girls from 8-th grade and smoke cigarettes behind the school. So I don't feel to bad for this white trash. And don't even get me get started on his parents, they look dumber than him. Damn it Hamiltom, this is what your breeding out there.

Andre Smith

Is it me or does Andre Smith mid section look like a cross between JarJar and an Octopus?

So let’s say you’re a rookie tackle (already known for being flaky) who is selected by the Bengals and you hold out through training camp. What do you do during that time? Apparently you don’t exercise and close down every Sizzler in the Cincinnati area. And to make matters worse, you come into camp out of shape and tipping the scales at 370. Then you promptly break your foot. Could it be the fact that your feet can’t withstand the pressure of an already corpulent load? Well, the Bengals do…and that’s why there is a weight management clause in your mammoth contract; a contract that was only slightly larger than you were coming into camp. guyism

Dirty Chimp

I am officially speechless after watching this video. And for anyone out there that doesn't get this video, you need to go talk to you daddy about the birds and the bees.
And for God sake get that whinny lil bastard out of there, cause I'm trying to enjoy this damn video.
So that has to be the unluckiest frog ever, right? This has to be the worst thing ever, being trapped by a monster 100x your size as it just inserts its bouncy genitals into your mouth over and over. guyism

Marvin Lewis Defends

"Jerome is doing everything he can to try to prove that he can get out there and make productive plays for us,” Lewis said. When asked if he had any second thoughts about taking Simpson with the 46th overall pick instead of Philadelphia’s DeSean Jackson, who went three picks later. Lewis said “DeSean is a fine, fine player. He’s done a great job. I’m comfortable with the way — we had them both as going to be great players, and I still feel that about Jerome.”

Come on Marvin WTF, just say what the rest of the country is thinking. We all have to admit to things that didn't work out the way we intended to. For example my ex. man it was all good when I was with her first, but after a while she was busting my balls for no reason and that was pissing me off and I have to admit I stayed with her longer than I should of have.
I'm sure Jermoe is the best jumper and the fastest dude on the East side of Mississippi, but he's not NFL ready, he's only Coastal Carolina ready. Not being on the field after year and a half of being drafted in the second round tells me he's slow to the play book. For Marvin's sake I hope Jermoe comes around by next year other wise its gonna be another year on the practice squad. I'm also looking at you Chase Coffman.

Crack Pipe

"Police say they have arrested a man who allegedly tried to stab his girlfriend and then set her on fire, all because of a crack pipe."

What people don't realize is that crack pipe is expensive, I'm not talking about that aluminum foil shit. You know how hard it is to come up with some loot to buy this crack pipe, and this bitch goes and messes around with it. Just reading this article got my blood all boiled up. I'm surprised this bitch lived, If it was me she would of been gone by now. I love Ohio.

Korean Lady Still Cant Drive

"A woman in South Korea who tried to pass the written exam for a driver's license with near-daily attempts since April 2005 has finally succeeded on her 950th time." msnbc

Whats worse than a female driver? An Asian female driver. I feel like I should be happy for her, because she was so damn persistent about it. But on the other hand I feel sorry for her, because we all know she's so damn old that she might die tomorrow. But to be serious it doesn't matter if she passed with a 100% mark, I still don't want this old lady on the road. If she cant pass the damn test the first 5 times, ah hell make it the first 500th time she don't deserve to re-take it. This lady is gonna take some ones life.

Intense Shagging

"A couple's nightly sex sessions were making their neighbours' lives' hell, a court heard today. Caroline and Steve Cartwright's love making was described as "murder" and "unnatural" and drowned out their neighbours' televisions. But it was not just the neighbours who were up in arms about the noise coming from their terraced house in Hall Road, Concord, Washington, Tyne and Wear - even the local postman and a woman who walked past the house taking her child to school complained. Neighbours said the Cartwrights sex sessions would usually start around midnight and last for two or three hours, every night of the week."

Are these people really complaining about the noise, or are they secretly wishing their sex life was that good?
I say let them enjoy their monkey sex, but they gotta give their neighbors some peace and quite 2 in the morning. As of now, I am taking donations to buy her a gag ball, so their neighbors can go to sleep on time.


All I'm here around Cincinnati is that there is a QB controversy at UC. And I'm thinking to myself what controversy, there is no controversy. Collaros is playing out of his mind right now so you stick with game. This does not mean that Collaros is better than Pike or Pike is better than Collaros. It just means Collaros got the hot hand right now and lets just move forward with that momentum, instead of slowing down and messing around with both QB's mentality. What we need to worry about is how is UC's D-Line gonna handle a bigger O-Line, because if we cant stop the run it wont batter who the QB is. Next two weeks will tell us if Collaros should be the starter or not, because he will be facing much better defenses. This is the NCAA not the NFL where coaches are forced to play a player that has the highest salary, even if they are not on top of their game.

Bengals vs. Ravens re-cap Week 9

Great sports weekend in Cincinnati, first the Bearcats squeak one out and on this great Sunday the Bengals do it again. Conquering AFC north like Genghis Khan. I thought the rematch was gonna be full of plays everywhere, but the only one making plays where the Bengals. Still perfect in AFC North, A 17-7 smash mouth win over the Baltimore. For some reason, I feel like the game was made closer than what the score displays. We were kicking ass on both sides of the line. But for some reason after the second fumble by Chad OchoCinco, I started to get a nervous feeling in my stomach.
Is this the year that the Bengals have depth at every position, it seems like it.
What the hells the matter with Jonathan Fanene, even my retarded dog knows that taking your helmet off would result in a penalty. Lucky for him it didn't result in a first down.
Don't care how much I hate the Ravens, I still take Ed Reed on my team any day, that dude is a baller.

The Legend Of Zack

How does the game against Connecticut  go from being a behind the shed ass whopping to an almost massive upset. This was a fun ball game to watch. Gotta give credit to the Huskies for fighting back and almost giving me a heart attack. Now I know what all you geniuses out there are thinking, who do we start for the next game, Pike or Collaros. Don't worry, Mr.Brown's got the answer, coach Kelly's gotta with the hot hand. Collaros is lighting it up like it's Christmas. Why wait for the heisman trophy next year, just give it to him already this year.
I don't wanna shit on the Bearcats parade, but if they cant figure out a way to stop the run, I feel like our season will end at Pitt.

I love Brent Musburger, but God Damn he was freaking awful tonight. How can he use word "dagger", #6 was stabbed to death couple of weeks ago. Also, I think he called Mardy Gilyard everything but Mardy. He remind me of my professor, I just wanna go up to him and tell him to hang it up.

End Of The MLS Road

My first mobile blog. And its right after the Columbus crew lost to real salt lake.
I watched the whole thing, for some reason in Spanish, and it sounded pretty good.
I am sure most will agree with me and blame this one on Robert Warzycha, he should of have played his best players @ Salt Lake City. But my man crush on the legendary Guillermo Barros Schelotto went to a new level today. I am defiantly naming my kid after him. Today was a big disappointment from my bro Frankie Hejduk, he got beat twice. It does not matter if the PK was a bad call or not, he should of have never put himself at the predicament.
At least now the Crew can focus on the Concacaf Champions League

Diaper Wearing Woman

"A Pennsylvania woman was awarded $150,000 in a discrimination suit claiming she had to wear diapers to work due to a lack of toilets. Lisa Drozdowski, 37, had to wear adult diapers while she was working as a flagger for the company in 2005 because officials refused to provide portable toilets. Drozdowski said her bathroom breaks, which involved walking a quarter mile to her car and driving several minutes to the nearest restroom, often came after she had already urinated on herself."

This is exactly the reason, you don't give females these types of job. But if you don't give them the job, they are just gonna turn around and sue you for discrimination. This story just pissed me off, I'm thinking if you can't do the job thats assigned to you, get out and don't comeback. Other wise keep wearing the diapers and shut your mouth or jump behind the bush.

Paraguayan President Is A Player

"A third woman has filed a paternity claim against Paraguay's Roman Catholic bishop-turned- president.  Asked whether the latest claim would tarnish the president's image, Interior Minister Rafael Filizzola replied, "We must not mix personal affairs with government business.We have hired a lawyer to deal with this type of issue and avoid getting the government involved."

Now this is how you roll if you are the Chief and Commander. He is single handily trying to raise the population of Paraguay. And I must admit he is succeeding one at a time. I'm sure you all remember Miss Monica Lewinsky, and how much shit the country gave President Clinton for no good reason. I'm saying down in Paraguay they got this whole ordeal correct right from the start. We should of just left President Clinton alone, what he does after five is his personal shit. We in American need to start taking some ideas from other countries.

WTF Story

"Two men were convicted Thursday on rape and other charges stemming from an attempt to get even over a stolen cell phone. Gamble accused the victim of stealing his cell phone and swore to get even, according to court documents. Gamble and Lovett thought up a scheme where Lovett went online to a local gay chat room to meet the man and invite him over for sex. As Lovett and the victim were on the bed, Gamble came out of the closet carrying a gun and a video camera, telling the victim “I told you I was going to get you” for stealing the phone. Gamble put a gun to the man’s head, Lovett stuffed socks in the man’s mouth and tied him up, according to records. They then took turns raping and beating the man for hours – with many of the acts caught on videotape."

stealing cell phone = kidnapping and rape?? WTF
I just realized something, only shit like this happens in Avondale. Avondale has to be the pit hole of Cincinnati. I'm a make a phone call to Iran and ask them nuke Avondale instead of Israel. This has to one of most fucked up stories to come out of Cincinnati lately. But I gotta give credit where credit is due. I didn't know gays had this kind of menacing mentality in them. From now I know I gotta be aware of gay dudes, cause they might be packing more than a sausage.

Big Boy Returns

"Bengals first-round pick Andre Smith finally got to hit someone on Monday. More than anything, though, Smith said he's going to be happy to go out and hit somebody. "That's what they drafted me for," Smith said."

No Mr. Smith, we drafted you to eat pancakes and cheeseburgers. Get your ass on the field and make us proud. Just try not to bite anyone while you are blocking. WHO DEY!!!

Breathalyzer Costume

"dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. Oxford police said they stopped 20-year-old James P. Miller on Halloween night and found beer in his front seat and in the trunk."

After looking at this tool, how could you not laugh. I'm sure he did it for the same reason as hot chicks who wear slutty outfits during Halloween, because they are what they wear. And you Mr. Miller are a drunk. This story reminds me of all the cocky squirrels on the road that turns into road kill. The squirrels know they are crazy fast, and instead of getting the fuck out of the way, they just sit there flaunting their shit until the last minute. And the next thing you hear is a little thumping sound. And you know what, I don't feel bad for the squirrels one bit, because they know better. Same applies to this clown, he knew he shouldn't be drinking and driving, especially dressed up as a Breathalyzer.

No Apple Pie For Me?

"Lynx - marketed as Axe in India - is famous for its saucy ads showing barely clothed women throwing themselves at men. A LUCKLESS romeo has sued cosmetics firm Lynx after he failed to land a girlfriend during seven years of using their products. Vaibhav said in his court petition: "The company cheated me because in its advertisements, it says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me."

Where the fuck is the Axe effect? This mans been waiting for over seven years to get some ass. So I think he has every right to sue the pants of Axe. I remember back in the day, when I was an Old Spice man, I rarely got any attention from the ladies. Then I decided to go with Axe, and before I knew it there was tits and ass all over the place. The shit was starting to creep me out a little. In the middle of the night pussy would jump out of the closet and attack me. It would chase me down while I was taking a walk in park. So I really feel bad for this dude, I mean I'm practically swimming in this while he barely gets a sniff. I know this guy was unattractive and unintelligent thats exactly why he switched to Axe brand. And I think Axe let him down.