Opening Day

So today was opening day for the Cincinnati Reds. So what did the Reds do besides bend over for the St. Louis, well nothing else really. Basically Albert Pujols came to Cincinnati, whopped his dick out and started swinging at everything in sight, and there was nothing Aaron Harang or Dusty Baker could do besides sit there and take it like Tiger Wood's mistress.
So what is the Red's problem?
I think our problem is the opening day parade. I mean check out some of these photos.

we have the banana guy
we got some Black kids that don't give a shit
we got some old geezer pushing lawnmower on top of asphalt 
I mean after watching this crap for two hours how wants to go play some ball?
So what I'm saying is this, we need to spice this shit up a bit. 
Get everyone energized like how they do it in Brazil.

More after the jump.

Imagine if you see this rolling down Fifth Street and Broadway and then go play some ball, there is no way we can loose after that.

PS. I think Albert Pujols is on drugs, and you know where he gets it from, their new batting coach Mark McGwire.